One of my constant fears is that I might fail at learning the language. I feel like so much is at stake. If I am to have an effective ministry here, I have to learn it well. But it is a “category four” language, meaning it is especially hard. And going to language school every morning means leaving my girls with our Ethiopian nanny Zabeeb. So, if I do not learn it well, I wonder if I am leaving them for nothing.

 

Still, though, I know that God will provide me with everything I need to learn the language. He has already provided our family with Zabeeb, who loves the girls like they were her own. While she is not the only way I see God preparing the way for me to learn Amharic, I learned that I must trust that God will provide me with everything I need to complete this task.  But that is not all I must do. I also have to choose to ignore the discouraging voices.

 

Like they were for Nehemiah, though, their words are consistent and loud. There seem to be quite a few ferenge (foreign) women that, when faced faced with similar challenges, decided that Amharic wasn’t worth the time. And, I know where they are coming from, although I wish I did not. I will probably never forget our first week of class. My daughter Adeline would run to the door saying, “I want to come with you! I want to come with you!” As we drove away, I had to fight the tears that made it nearly impossible to concentrate on those mornings.

 

Just when the heartache over leaving Adeline threatened to overwhelm me, I attended a three- year-old-birthday party with a lot of other moms. One of them was from a different mission, and told me that she quit language school after 3 months because it was too hard, and because her kids needed her at home. Needless to say, her words were not at all what I needed to hear in that moment. I knew God promised to provide me with everything I need to learn it.  Still, I seemed to be struggling with fear before I’d barely even begun.

 

But God knew what I needed to hear, and quickly provided me with a word in response.

 

Shortly after I returned from the birthday party, an email came from Grandma Effie. She wanted to know if I’d met Hazel Munzel yet, a dear friend of hers that lives on our compound. She has worked within the Orthodox church for over 50 years. She also asked if I knew about the inter-mission prayer meeting, begun long ago in the 1960’s. I could ask Hazel about the details, as she has been involved in it for many years. This is the same one that had literally prayed Pa and Effie back into areas that were closed during the communist revolution.

 

A few days later, on a Tuesday, I walked Hazel’s apartment with the girls to introduce myself. She was happy to meet me, and when I asked about the prayer meeting, she told me that it was to be at her house that week. (It meets once weekly all around the city, sometimes as far as a 45 minute drive away. But here I was, still so unsure about driving. How good of God to make that week’s meeting within walking distance.)

 

We met for tea from 4-4:30, Hazel gave a short devotion from 4:30-5, and then we prayed together from 5-6:30.  And, the timely words that Hazel shared during that devotion I think were meant specifically for me.

 

During her devotion, Hazel read a passage to us from Nehemiah 6. The wall project in the preceding chapters immediately sounded like my own language learning. Only Nehemiah’s faith in God could have urged him to take on such a task. Because the wall was in such bad shape, rebuilding it would take some real effort, and what’s worse, he had Sanballat and Tobiah to contend with. They gave him great opposition. They taunted him as he worked, saying “What are these feeble Jews doing? Will they restore it for themselves? Will they sacrifice? Will they finish it up in a day?” (Neh. 4: 2).

 

I am indeed feeble, and I feel it on a daily basis. But when I am feeble, He is strong. As if the taunting was not enough to weaken the Israelites’ morale, S & T follow up by sending an onslaught of soldiers. And then, “In Judah it was said, ‘The strength of those who bear the burdens is failing. There is too much rubble. By ourselves we will not be able to rebuild the wall” (Neh. 4: 10). All of what is said in Judah is true of me. Many afternoons I feel my strength is failing. I know that by myself, I will not be able to learn this language.

 

But I love Nehemiah’s response to them. He says “Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your homes” (Neh. 4:14). When I am feeling weak and unable to complete the task, God is asking me to remember Him. And when I can only build with one hand and have to fight with the other, it is God who will fight for me (Neh. 4: 20).

 

It was Nehemiah 6, though, that Hazel shared with us. And it’s in this chapter that I think Nehemiah shows the greatest perseverance of all. Four times Sanballat and Tobiah tried to take him away from the work. Each time, Nehemiah answered them with the words: “Behold, I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you?” (6: 3).  But instead of stopping, they up the ante.

 

Then they made up lies about how he wanted to be king, and even hired a prophet to say they were coming to kill him. Yet, Nehemiah still says, “For they all wanted to frighten us, thinking ‘Their hands will drop from the work, and it will not be done.’ But now, O God, strengthen my hands” (6:9). As a result of Nehemiah’s refusal to listen to these discouraging voices, the wall was built in 53 days.

 

The discouraging voices around me are not nearly as persistent as Nehemiah’s. And I doubt I will learn the language in 53 days. But when the words I hear seem to confirm what I am already tempted to feel, I can choose not to listen. I choose to trust each day that God will make my work prosper. And then maybe years from now, I might look back to see that the wall has been built.